Broadcasting Goals

Just read an article titled "Broadcast Your Desires" on www.StevePavlina.com (great site full of thought-provoking articles; I'm not much into his latest D/s kick mostly 'cause it's irrelevant to my life, but he approaches even that from a unique vantage point) and it got me to thinking.

My desires, for real:

1. I want a cuddle buddy. Not a boyfriend, not a playmate. Just an interesting male friend whose company and cuddling I enjoy. I used to have a few but they've all run off on me or vice versa. This does not mean dating. I don't enjoy "dating" in the traditional sense: it's awkward, sets both people up for failure and is not exactly an environment to foster honesty or realistic expectations. I want something casual and mostly non-sexual that functions on a basis of friendship and total honesty. If it turns into something more, cool. If not, cool.

2. I want to become more feminine in a balanced way. This doesn't mean I want to become all passive or turn into some 50s ideal of domesticity; I want to be able to change my own oil, unclog my own drains, and let my own non-poisonous spiders outside (no point smashing something that's not a threat). But I would like to be more gentle, more accepting of chivalry, kinder, more loving and less cynical. I'm kind of a hard, prickly thing right now in too many areas of life, not just the ones where hard prickles are advantageous.

3. I want friends. Real friends, the kind I have back home, only I want them here. Unique, original people who think and live deeply, whatever that means to them, who draw their own conclusions about life and who pursue their interests rather than just thinking or talking about them. I've had a hard time finding them in here (total count: 4, all female, over a considerable timespan) but I suspect there are more out there.

4. On that note, I want to GET OUT OF REXBURG, either permanently or in the form of frequent trips to soul-enriching places or events. There is very little about this town that speaks to me. I don't like the religiosity, conservative attitudes, size or rurality. (Not to be entirely negative, I do like the fact that it's so close to natural parks and beautiful scenery and I love my job.) I want to get out to somewhere bigger, more colorful and more alternative. Somewhere focused on the arts. Somewhere full of passionate people. Somewhere like Burning Man.

5. I want a freaking amazing internship. I'm thinking something with a YA publishing house (ideally HarperTeen, though a smaller house/imprint might be preferable), Jim Henson Studios, The Office of Letters and Light or the SCBWI. I want this internship to be well paid and high on the responsibility/experience and positivity scales.

6. I want to be on fire about my life again.