Gratitude - #7

Format: 1-week challenge

Goal: When praying, do not ask for anything

Goal met? No. But I got results anyway.

Terms you should know:

Prayer - In my case, a formal addressing of God. (Well, sort of formal. I sound like Tevye sometimes...) In your case... could be anything that addresses God/Goddess/Source/Universe/Higher Consciousness/etc.

So here’s what happened:

I'm not what I would call extremely religious. I don't talk about church stuff unless it's a church topic, I watch movies on Sunday, and I'm actually pretty uncomfortable discussing God with most people. I do, however, pray regularly, and highly recommend this practice, whatever your deity or religious beliefs. I think most people believe in a higher power of some sort --- even if it's their own best self --- and I think formally addressing and stating what you're thankful for and what you want from that higher power is pretty worth doing.

Which leads to the experiment. I realized that most of my prayers are like, "Thanks for this and this and I want this and this and this and this and please bless them and them and them and them and I want this and this..." It's basically a horribly demanding shopping list, and, I'm not gonna lie, most of it doesn't make a difference --- usually because I'm praying for things I don't actually think I'm going to get, or things that I want because I'm so afraid of not getting them.

Operating from fear/doubt = ineffective.

So all my prayers for the week are going to be full of things I'm thankful for and nothing else (with the exception of praying for a friend who's dealing with cancer, 'cause that trumps all).

Day 1: I am not very good at this. But I don't feel so powerless. It's like, "Well, if I don't ask, God's not going to give me this so I might as well get off my butt and do it myself." Win. Maybe illogical, but win. Also, it's very difficult to not ask for things for other people. I'm used to praying for my family a lot and that's against the rules now. But, as I said, empowering.

Day 2: Really enjoying this. Again, keep wanting to pray for family and/or my grades, but I'm only slipping up, like, 50% of the time.

There's something weirdly Law of Attractionish about this. The LoA functions on emotional wavelengths, and gratitude is one of the most positive energies you can send out. I'm actually finding things coming to me more easily. Little invaluable stuff... getting extensions on homework, test alternatives for tests I was worried about, having enough time to do homework and play too, making a brief but lovely connection with someone I'm interested in, etc. I can't categorically say that it's all because of this experiment... but I can't say it's not, either. I'm just feeling more positive and empowered generally and it's bound to ripple.

Day 6: Freaking. Awesome. Week. Like, really, it's been a good week. Unusually good. Roommate has been unusually quiet (she snores). I've been unusually happy. I've had some unusually magnificent insights (see previous post). My days have gone unusually well. I've had unusually abundant synchronicities. Heck, I was walking across campus today, thought, "My life would be easier if I had cash right now" and literally less than thirty seconds later looked down and saw a $1 bill lying in the deserted parking lot. And it's been like that all week. Or maybe I'm just not noticing the bad stuff. Whatever. It's awesome.

Again: Law of Attraction. "Like attracts like." Operating from a positive, grateful base is a lot better than coming from a negative, angry one. Everyone likes you more when you're positive, including the Universe.

I've been slipping up like mad --- mostly in the areas of praying for family --- but it doesn't really matter. 90% of every prayer is all thanks and it's illuminating. My sense of entitlement is slipping away and I'm more okay when things suck. It's like, "Hey, what can you expect without divine intervention? But look at the crocuses! Isn't God nice?"

Which is pretty much fantastic.

I'm making this a habit.

Try this:

1. Do I really have to explain this one to you?

Well, okay, if you're not in the habit of praying, maybe so. (Also, if you're uncomfortable with the term prayer, you can totally rename it. Gratitude session works just as well.)

Find a quiet place where you're not going to be bugged for, like, three minutes (which is harder for some of us than others, I know). Address whatever higher power you believe in if that feels right to you; if not, come up with some other sort of beginning.

[Sidebar: I really do think it's important to formally do this. Developing a generally grateful attitude is awesome, but it's a heck of a lot easier to do once you adopt this practice.]

Then say thanks. For big stuff or little stuff, it doesn't matter; just list it and think about it and why you're grateful for it and how it makes you feel. Do it out loud if you can. Putting things into sound makes them a lot more real.

Whenever you feel like you're done for now, close the prayer/gratitude session somehow. My religion invokes deity again; you may be in the habit of a straight-up "Amen" or want to come up with something of your own. Again, whatever works. And just thanks. No asking for things, no qualifying ("Thanks that it was sunny today, even though the wind went straight through your coat and was cold even though it is almost spring..."). Just thanks.

I recommend doing this before bedtime. They say that whatever you think about before bed is what your subconscious works on while you're sleeping, and I can attest to it having pretty significant effects --- since I began this experiment I've been waking up in absurdly good moods.

2. If you prefer, you can also use meditation sessions for this. When I meditate I prefer to just sit back and watch my thoughts, but I think using meditation to practice conscious gratitude can be a valuable practice, too.

Powerful stuff.

Next challenge: Dating Myself, for real this time...

Images from aussiegall's beautiful 30 Days of Gratitude photostream